What's the "Next Step"?

So, today at church, Perry preached the second sermon in the Esther series. Today was entitled, "Next!" This was very timely....'cause I've been wondering, "what next?" When God first layed adoption from China on my heart (back in 2000), we were living in Tennessee and I knew that although adoption would be part of our lives, it would not be happening immediately. In January 2006, when Kendal and I were in agreement that the time had finally come, we took that step! At that time, the biggest step of faith in the whole deal had to do with the money. It was then estimated that the cost would be somewhere between $19,000 to $24,000. We hadn't even been able to establish a savings account that was of any significance. Little did we know, each day of this process was a "next step"!

As I sat in church this morning, I felt completely numb! It is great to see the excitement of so many people who are eager for us to go get Anna. I was totally frustrated by my apathy! As Perry kept talking about Esther and the difficult steps she made, knowing only that God's hand would guide her, I couldn't help but wonder, "What is my 'next step'?" Then Perry said, "The next step God wants you to take is not one of comfort." As exciting as our trip to China will be, it is so uncomfortable! I don't mind flying but the thought of being stuck in a plane for a long time just makes me start to squirm!!! I love being outdoors so flying is not my idea of a great time! Going to a communist country that persecutes and executes Christians on a regular basis is a little un-nerving, to say the least. But, let me say that I am not at all afraid or discouraged to press on. Holding my sweet baby Anna while she is totally unaware of what is happening to her breaks my heart!

Am I excited? Yes. Is it going to be a trip of a lifetime? For sure. Is it going to be luxurious and comfortable? Definitely not! So, I guess to answer the question of "What next, Jennifer?" is "Today". Each day towards the "end" of this adoption process is a deliberate, intentional step into uncertainty and discomfort. I honestly can't see past today so I will just take each day as it comes and as God leads. We have seen God financially provide for this journey, even as the cost has grown by an additional $10,000 to $12,000. He has encouraged us along the way, particularly through words and prayers of so many people. He has blessed us with opportunities to encourage others to pursue adoption. So, we will stick with Him and follow His lead.